March
10, 2007
And I went up there,
I said, "Shrink, I want to kill.
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill.
Kill.
I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in
my teeth.
Eat dead burnt bodies.
I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL."
And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL,"
and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and
down yelling,
"KILL, KILL."
And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall,
said, "You're our boy."
Kill.
I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth.
Eat dead burnt bodies.
I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL."
And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL,"
and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling,
"KILL, KILL."
And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."
And to the Calgary Board of Education.
March 6, 2007
From: linda williams
To: neveroddoreven@shaw.ca
Sent: Mar 6, 2007 10:25 AM
Hello, I am Williams Linda from the United States, I am to be transfered
to Canada on my job career.I am a model and will be doing modeling in
Canada..About me: Am 27 years of age and am simple, understanding, caring,
loving, do not smoke but i do not mind people around smoke or drink but
not to be drunk, i drink occasionally but don't usually get drunk.I love
shopping and as a model, love fashion.I will like you to tell me about
you too and also about the room.I will like to know if it is available
and also let me know how much will it cost me for one month plus utilities.
Thanks. Linda
So, the VP of the main school I worked at went on a strange rampage last week and removed 3 subs from their subbing list - including me. He caught me with a Ukulele and almost burst a blood vessel he was so mad.
So I'm finally going to get onto the Calgary Board of Education.
In the meantime, what's a man
to do with his time?
March 5, 2006
This guy really wanted his 21 year old daughter to come and live with
us. But for some long winded reason which I could never fully grasp, he
was in Syria and needed our banking information to send money to us.
This was my response:
Feb 28, 2007 9:34 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Room Inquire...
He kept writing back. I ended up getting bored with him.
March 1, 2007
February 27, 2008
Serious dude - not cool.
February 26, 2007
I even had an assistant teacher
come in for the last period. At first she tried to organize a Spanish
bingo game. Then she seemed really interested to hear some of the student's
presentations (I personally try to avoid listening to student presentations
at all costs. I once had to watch a 45 minute movie of this group of grade
4 knuckleheads assing around in their basement)
February 24, 2007
February 21, 2007
I wonder if Anand will make it out . . .
This is Cowpuncher - playing on a real stripper stage. Unfortunately they took down the pole.
(no more stripper stories I swear)
Thanks for the pic & the hippie van Kaari
February 18, 2007
Dear Mom,
Too bad you guys couldn't make
it to our show last night.
We played at a bar that doubles as a strip club! So you missed hanging
out with a crackhead stripper all night! But don't worry - we got some
pictures.
There would have been plenty of room for you all. We got a total of 4 beds. Although for some reason, none of the Puncher girlfriends wanted to stay more than a minute or two in the room and quickly arranged alternative accommodations.
Also, the room was quite loud being as it was adjacent to where the crackhead stripper's room was. So truth be told, you wouldn't have gotten much sleep.
Anyways, I hope you can all make it to our next show.
Your Loving Son,
Matt
January 14, 2007
Breathe. . . .
Breathe
Hmmmmmmmmmm . . . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . .
Hmmmmmmm . . . . . . . . . .
Things to be thankful for:
People still call me a banger.
Being a banger.
Being the grabby hand in a bikini photoshoot.
Hmmmm . . . .
I thought there would be more to it than that.
My feet hurt.
February 12, 2007
February 9, 2007
I had an appointment to bring my car in today, but my car decided to stop
running in the middle of rush hour traffic the other day & I had to
get it towed. Luckily my friend was kind enough to lend her hippie van.
However, when I tried to fire it up yesterday morning it was stone cold
dead. It wasn't until about 5pm after much fiddling around in the back
of the hippie van with my drill did finally fire up.
eliza.kurdziel@gmail.com
I just heard from Employment Standards and after only 5 months of fighting, begging and pleading - Laserspec has finally agreed to pay me part of my final check! Thanks Guys! Way to Go!
The above picture (which is still on the Laserspec website) is of me working on a prototype of a hot tub - yep that's right I used to design hot tubs when I was working at Laserspec (among many other tasks). I know quite a bit about hot tubs and the industry, so if your in the market for one I'd suggest looking at Crystal Waters Spas. They are Canadian owned, they are designed for cold weather, they are the only hot tubs that Costco will carry, they have a lifetime guarantee. Also, most hot tub companies are owned by sleezeballs, but the folks over at Crystal waters are top notch.
February 6, 2007
February 4, 2007
So on the microphone, I announce
that he should calm down and that we'll play some
January 30, 2007
Birth Certificate
Degree (see update below)
Things I found:
Update:
16:06
Olah family Ring - I'm glad about this one. I hadn't come across
it in years. Each time I look at it I hear my Grandpa Olah's thick Hungarian
accent bellowing "700 HUNDTHRRRRREAD YEARRRRTHHSSSSS!"
My Granddad's 8mm camera - He used to film myself and my cousin
running through sprinklers in the backyard in our bathing suits. (Wow
I just reread that and it sounds super creepy. I was attempting to share
a nice personal memory and it came out very wrong for reasons that are
not quite clear to me)
A picture of my granddad from when he was a young man. Very dapper!
My Old Psychedelic Tin in which I keep many treasures. In the tin
was the Olah Family Ring along with:
A Money
Order for
Other treasures of interest found in the degree hunt:
Sewing Needle Holder from the '50's. It was my Grandma Olah's. I took
it from my Grandpa Olah's house a few years after she had died and after
his eyes started getting really bad.
My Godspeed You Black Emperor! CD.
Various records.
Various books.
I think the Birth Certificate might just be gone for good.
January
25, 2007
We had the layout done the other day
My instructions to my mom were
to make us look like a country band
Whoah . . . . .
Far out . . .
January 24, 200(7)6
Sometimes the life of
a dude with no real career path is pretty sweet. I’ve been getting lots of work as a
fake teacher (substitute teacher) over the last little bit. While some days, whinny, snotty (literally),
squabbling kids take years off my life – other days are ridiculously
easy. Example, here is a list of
things I was paid to do over the last couple of days:
Read half of Teacher Man
Play guitar
Play the musical saw
Take a nap
Play Hacky Sack
Play a video game called “N The Way Of The Ninja” – this game
came highly recommended from the kids this morning.
Right now I’m a
computer lab supervisor at a smart kid’s school – for kids whose parents really want them to
be gifted whether or not they are in fact gifted.
I have one student right
now and have spent most of the morning trying to find an emulator for
a video game I played in junior high – Military Madness. No luck.
Perhaps its time for
more guitar.
January 21, 2007
January 20, 200(7)6
You
know when life gives you those lovely moments that make you feel like
the stupidest person on earth? I love those . . .
I got my tattoo the other day. 3 1/2 hours of searing pain. I've heard that the more tattoos you get the more they hurt and that the older you get the more tattoos hurt. I don't know which one is true or if they are both true, but this thing was unreasonably painful.
Anyways,
it turned out to be WAY bigger than I had planned and in turn WAY more
expensive than I had budgeted for.
Luckily I brought a photographer along, but I don't think we got a picture of the look on my face when I was standing at the till with this enormous number in front of me.
January 17, 200(7)6
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
January 16, 200(7)6
I think
that the coolest thing about The Sadies is that they play as though they
aren't playing music under their own volition.
Stop Making Excuses and Start Making Solutions!
I said that to a kid the other day. It just came out of my mouth. I don't know what's happening to me. I think I'm becoming a motivational speaker! I wonder if one of my enemies has cursed me . . .
My site tracking tells me what search
terms people use to come to my site. Here are some highlights:
filthy tattoo leather outlaw biker
hippie topless
asain girls
chernobyl motercycle video
changes in personality after brain surgury
hand palm or knuckle or finger or thumb -glove
mangled hand
fingernail drill
single women of whitehorse yukon on myspace.com
is it smart to live with girlfriend during separation
he yanked with all his might and his leg slithered footlessly o
flaccid antipope
erin olmstead killed
January 14, 200(7)6
Kids,
please don't party until 6 in the morning. Please. It's not worth it.
I've been sitting in front of the computer
for about 1/2 an hour or so and all I've done is fart around on the internet.
I heard somebody on the radio today talking about how when people read
something written in a book they are taking time out of their day, but
when they look at things on the internet they are usually just passing
time. I think that radio person had a point.
Christopher Gary Canning, Shawn's evil twin brother
YouTubed (did I just make that term up?) some
video clips of us at the Broken City (we are now unbanned, or were never
banned - I can't keep up) in December. I like this one because of the
appearance of the dude who's mind has been blown somehow:
My first reaction to seeing the videos
was - Wow! We're in a Country band! I even sound like a Country singer!
I know this sounds stupid, but we really
sound WAY more country than I thought we did. I think I can relate to
those punk bands from California that sing like their from Manchester.
January 13, 200(7)6
I'm getting the first drawing from the below next Thursday. I'm just going to change the shirt and I think I'll eliminate the background.
The
Palomino show was fun. Considering that we played with Celene instead
of Pete (who's in New York putting on a puppet play) and that Celene has
only had one practice with us - we played an incredible show.
Quote of the night: You guys were great & I love your hair!
The six am Gentlemen's Club party was a little much.
How many times can we listen to "I'm on Fire" by Bruce Springsteen on vinyl? The answer - about 10 times, depending on who's in charge of the record player.
January 11, 200(7)6
Hey, what do you think of these drawings for my tattoo?
January 10, 200(7)6
A teacher lady I know has been bugging
me about linking to her Singles group's website. So, guess what . . .
tonight's the night I link to
SoleStride:
SoleStride focuses on creating relaxing atmospheres where the first thing its single members have in common is valuing a healthy & active lifestyle. Relaxing atmospheres result from SoleStride's creative mixer planning attended by some enthusiastic & interesting Calgary singles.
I did notice though that SoleStride didn't
plan an event to see Cowpuncher this Friday at the Palomino:
I can't believe that my teacher friend would have the gall to ask me to link to her website and not even have the courtesy to have planned a singles event at our show!
I'm not angry.
I'm hurt.
And disappointed.
January 7, 2006
In fact, if one were to see my finger one would think that I was being
a big baby about it.
Good thing I didn't waste any time in a doctor's office.
I tried to keep a dream diary a few years ago but
it didn't stick for very long. But last night I forgot my pansey
pill and had the craziest dreams I've had in years. If I dreamed like
that everynight I'd never
want to wake up.
When I embarked on my journey to find out what happened to the cute girls from my junior high, I never considered that any of their eyes would see my work. Now two of the people on my list have seen it and luckily for me they have both been pretty cool about it.
That's a tattoo of a female dragon. I've never considered the gender of dragons before. I've always thought of dragons as dragons. Where is the land of honest male dragon? Do dragons get tattoos of men on horses?
Update on Erin Olmstead:
From Tricia - "I haven't talked to Erin Olmstead for many years,
but my best friend Trevor Romanow lives in Vancouver, and he ran into
her once when she was at a club with Krissy Eppele, and he told me Erin
is a personal trainer, very fit, and looks great."
Dang! Has no one from my past killed a man in a drunken bar fight? Has
no one done time for passing bad checks? Has no one wasted half their
lives with someone they didn't even really like? Has no one spent the
best years of their life on a broken dream?
Cowpuncher is officially re-banned from The Broken City! Pete and
Zak, the owner, got into a squabble about our paycheck. Thank god its
not my fault this time.
Why don't
you play music that more people are into?
maybe you should play a type of music that more people are in to.
Oh & my new favorite crap
rock band is Ceremony from Prince George.
I'm wearing
pantyhose on my arms! I'm wearing pantyhose on my arms!
We are Ceremony, We come from the bitter and cold north.
We live in and play out
of Northern British Columbia,
British Columbia is in Canada.
Canada is the northernmost country on North America
North America is located on Earth which is a planet ,
Earth has one moon and revolves around a yellow sun .
Okay now that we are all up to speed
let's get on with the show.
The Ceremony Story Thus Far :
The first incarnation of Ceremony came from the ashes of a Prince Georgian group called Space Ghost . . .
January 3, 2006
Perhaps Dave's laptop is trying to tell me something.
I've been framing all week. Framing is very, very hard work.
I shot myself in the finger with a nail gun yesterday.
I've
been meaning to write about my ordeals with phone cards, but I'm too tired
to get into that now.
Let's just say that if you're
looking for a long distance phone card - look no further than the Superstore
phone card. In the 4 or 5 I've bought in that last few months it's by
far the best.
Safeway phone card - Boo!
White Card - Boo!
Weird phone card I bought in Canmore that came out of a lottery machine
or something - Boo!
Safeway phone card - Boo!
December
29, 2006
We ran though the set quickly at the Gentlemen's Club before packing up
and heading down to Broken City.
It was an amazing night.
Jay - Sorry about the end of the night BS. You were right.
December
27, 2006
This is my hand but not my bird:
Pete’s Nasty foot:
Grandma's Special Cookies:
December
24, 2006
Woke up in Lethbridge
Drove to Calgary
Garvocks drive me to bus depot.
Get on bus.
Young, loudmouth punk gets into the back and begins to get drunk with
another gentlemen who appears to not be so successful in life. (Unsuccessful
Man has a sweet bag of weed on him but its "dry as shit")
Punky loudmouth talks completely in Ebonics even though he says he's from
Hobbema. 80% of the following vocabulary:
Yo.
Straight up.
Hommie.
He does a mix of rapping and boasting - loud enough that passing cars
could probably hear about how much crack he smoked and how many "bitches"
he has in Calgary
All the talk about "shorties" gets him in the mood for romance
so and begins to troll up and down the isles of the bus looking for girls
to pick up.
After a couple of unsuccessful tries with a filly that catches his eye
- the young Asian girl with braces sitting right in front of me - to come
"party in the crib" at the back of the bus; he comes up with
a new strategy - he asks to borrow her cell phone.
While yapping with his "hommie" at the top of his lungs he attempts
to sit down beside Asian Girl. The girl goes from polite & tollerent
to scared & fumbling for an excuse for him not to sit down. This
is when I tell him that the girl wants nothing to do with him, to finish
with the phone and head back to his seat.
He barks back at me, "Yo, I don't want no
trouble yo. I'm just trying to talk to the girl."
"Yeah, well she's my sister and she doesn't want you bugging her."
Heads start goffering up and around their seats.
"That's your sister!?!"
"Yeah!".
"Yo hommie. You're my hommie & I don't want any trouble.
Yo. You're my hommie right?"
He then trundled back to his seat with Asian Girl's phone.
Asain girl turned her head to me and whispered a thank you.
A few minutes later comes up to return the phone
& make buddy-buddy with me but I wasn't having any of it.
"I'm not in the mood for chatting right now."
He really, really wanted to shake my hand, which I refused to do.
So he returned to his "crib" grumbling about his 9mm Gat in
his bag under the bus.
After some more partying he tries his luck with this small young lady
sitting to my right. Earlier, when he was making time with Asain
Girl he attempted to sit on the arm rest of the empty seat next mini-lady,
where her bag lay. Mini-lady gave him a good shove & smiled
and blinked politely - making up an excuse about having breakables in
her bag.
So now after a few more belts of booze he starts on the mini-lady by hollering
"Yo Shortie" from the back of the bus. When this fails
to earn a response he decides to move up to the seat behind her and holler
again.
Mini-lady just stares straight ahead and lowers her sunglasses.
So he reaches over her seat and taps her on her foot, which had folded
up on the seat, beside her bag.
No response.
He moves his hand up to her calf and taps again.
"Hey, Hey," he bellowed.
When his hand reaches above her knee and taps her on the outside of her
thigh she snaps, "if you touch me with that hand again you' lose
it!"
He begins arguing again about how he doesn't want any trouble and she
argues back and finally I break in and ask him to leave the lady alone.
"Was I talking to you?," was all he mustered before turning
back to finish his argument with the mini-lady.
When she finally got rid of him he focuses in on me to warn me about the
dangers of interrupting his conversations with girls. But, he wanted
to ensure that we were still hommies and stuck out his hand again and
again I refused to shake it.
He fumed, "all you gotta do is shake my hand and we don't have any
problems."
"I don't gotta do anything," I replied and tried to return to
my book.
"Yo I thought we were cool, yo."
"We'll be cool when you go sit down."
"Yo, I don't want any problems"
"THEN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
He again returned to his seat grumbling about how he was going to get
the bus driver to pull over so he can get out his gat and shoot the guy
with the glasses.
"6down, he doesn't even know about 6down."
By the time we stopped in Banff
The mini-lady asked if I wanted to hook up sometime in Calgary
All of a sudden, me - the 130lb dude with the glasses was Sheriff of bustown.
"Oh," I replied, "I work at a Junior High - I deal with
little shits like that all the time."
December
18, 2006
Here is the rest of my research project I started
a while back. The title of my project
is: Whatever happened to various
people from my past – mostly the cute girls.
Girls I dated in High School:
Teddy Bengert – No Information.
Teddy was my first girlfriend. We met at McDonalds and on our first date
we made out on the cliffs surrounding
Kyla
Clark – No Information.
I dated Kyla in Grade 11 for a while. She lived out in the country and I had to con
my friends with cars to drive me out there to make out when her parents
were away. No one ever drove me
twice. Her family raised sled dogs and they had a
freezer full of sled dog food, which were bags and bags of ground chickens.
If I remember it right, it was feathers and all
Jerri
Adolph – No Information.
Jerri also worked at McDonalds. We
used to make out in her basement and listen to the “
Tana-Lynn Goode – No Information.
Tana was my big High School girlfriend; big as in a long time not big
as in size, although she was a volleyball player.
Her parents owned a catering business and eventually opened a restaurant
called "Just Goode Food" - Get it? Tana and I had absolutely nothing in common
and all we did is fight and I two-timed her a
bunch of times. I'll bet she still
hates me.
Now, moving onto University girls. I went to school for a year in
Cathrine Claiter - Chief Information Officer,
"My primary
motivation for working in health informatics is the opportunity to work
with such a talented and diverse group of professionals," said Catherine. "I like the combination
of working on challenging, high-impact problems in a very flexible and
collaborative team environment"
Like all who work in health informatics, Catherine feels making an important
contribution to the development of the field and the delivery of healthcare
is of paramount importance to her.
However, she also emphasizes
that in addition to the intrigue of the technological aspects, "Where
else could I work each day with colleagues trained in medicine, health
informatics, systems engineering, law and finance?"
I briefly dated Cathrine in my first
year of University. I always thought
she looked like one of those girls that could be painted on the side of
a van in the 70's. She was gorgeous
but kind of had a squeaky voice – it didn't bother me any. Her family owned a dairy
concern in
Jessica Cook - September
14, 1973 - September 2, 2000
I
found a page that listed all of these people who were
in a University play with me in
December
12, 2006
Is anyone else out there getting any
of that weird spam right now?
I kinda like how they're sending little snippets from various works of
literature. I don't mind getting spam as long as I'm getting smarter at
the same time.
I've been getting quite a few spams containing pieces from Stephen King's Misery. The other day I got the part where Annie cuts off Paul Sheldon's foot.
He yanked with all his might and his leg slithered footlessly out of her grasp, leaving her with nothing but the circlet of leather with which she had capped the stump.And she heard it - low, painful scraping sounds in the earth - not the sounds of a burrowing animal, these; these were the sounds of fingers scraping helplessly on wood.
Did you know that there's a Canadian Metallica Cover band called Misery?
So, I spent several hours on my research project about what happened to the cute girls from my Junior/Senior high. The project has actually grown in scope to include any of my high school or university loves, crushes, etc or just random people from my past that I've decided to Google. I found that one girl died and another girl is a big success. However, I left all of my work on a computer at a school. I'm hoping to be able to retrieve it tomorrow.
I won't be including any recent heartaches or heartbreaks in this project - at least not yet.
I do have an update on Erica Dissler.
She wrote me back on Saturday. I guess she didn't go to my site, because
I doubt she would have written me such a nice email if she saw what I
was upto.
December 8, 2006
So I've been trying to find out about people I went to high school with - mostly the cute girls.
Here's what I've found:
Tricia
Seaton - No information. (Update - Information Found)
Tricia was probably the prettiest girl in my junior high. She was also
super booksmart. In grade 11 she dated this grade 12 dude with mullet.
They used to make out in the hallway between classes. I remember being
in College at UCC in
Erin Olmstead - No information. (Update - Information Found)
Jody Cage - No information.
Yes all three - Tricia, Erin and Jody were best friends and the cutest
girls in the school. They were like a walking teen drama movie. Jody used
to wear spandex shorts in gym class. Anyways, my friend Howard harbored
a crush on her from about grade 8 to grade 12. In fact, he may still love
her for all I know. I recall all conversations between the two of them
as being very awkward.
Christine Buhr - (New Information Found) Poetry: found on The Peak Student Newspaper Website
from March 9, 1995.
- Music: She may have made some music for a play
in
- Philanthropy: She may have been at a Michael
Trudeau fund raising event in 2001 but I can't be sure because the photo
is small
Please note: there seems to me a few Christine Buhrs out there.
Christine was legend in my
high school. The only reason I got to hang around with her was because
I was a drama nerd - as was she. She directed some ridiculous comedy about
these guys in burning hotel. The play was supposed to take place in the
1920's (the fire symbolized the stock market crash or something), but
all actors were bangers and had long hair, which we refused to cut and
this made the production even more ridiculous. She had about 100 poems
published in our High School year book. I think one of my friends may
have kissed her, but I'm not sure if he was lying or not.
I like her poem called Fear.
Erica Dissler - Artist: for the Children's Book There's a World
In My House By David Wood.
Artist:
for Daniel: Understanding the dreams and visions, by Charlene Fortsch
(is that pronounced like torch?).
Artist:
for Daniel: Understanding the Visions of John, by Charlene Fortsch
"Erica Dissler was born and raised
in beautiful British Columbia,
Erica & her twin sister Lacy were
also drama nerds. Without being in the drama club I would have never come
within 100 yards of these two. I think they were set designers. I let
Erica read some of my teenage boy writings and I fell madly in love with
her. However, one day she started dating this guy in grade 12 (we were
in grade 11) who listened to Depeche Mode. I was furious and heartbroken.
Once, I went hot tubbing with her younger sister.
I don't remember Erica as being as god fearing as she appears to be now.
(Truth be told, I got the idea for this research project when I stumbled up on the David Wood book the other day when I was supposed to be teaching grade 5. I sent her an email. No reply as of yet. - She has since replied)
December 5, 2006
Here are some pics from the tour:
These are Wickles, which are delicious. They make regular pickles taste like cat litter.
Juggling in Canmore:
When I was talking on the phone to my mom, this dude came up to the payphone to twist up a doobie. I took a picture and showed it too him and he requested a retake. Here it is:
The best part of the trip (music wise) was after Can-Ho show, we went to the common room upstairs and played music until 4 in the morning (actually the boys might have played later, I went to empty my guts out at 4AM).
Shawn playing Ukelele while driving to
Setting up the Christmas tree in
December 4, 2006
Back from
the winter, AB tour.
The first night went much better than expected.
A convention from Proctor & Gamble descended upon us and was one of
the best crowds we've ever had.
They were nearly tearing each other's arms off they were dancing so hard.
When we got off stage I felt like we were the best band in the world.
Sadly though, we played for empty rooms for the rest of the trip.
We thought that we would at least get a good crowd in Lethbridge, but
there was a local guy playing at a competing venue and everyone in town
went to that show.
Corrie from the Tongue & Groove wanted to make it up to us and asked
us to name a date to return. But the rest of the Cowpunchers were burnt
out and disappointed and didn't want to talk about booking any more shows.
In my opinion though, playing - even before an empty room is still better
practice than playing in the basement.
Plus, we did the best we could under the circumstances and we can at least
be proud of that.
Note:
When someone has a really cool necklace & you keep asking questions
about it, but you aren't getting a straight answer - the necklace might
just be a tracheotomy.
I forgot my hairdryer, while Pete forgot his cymbals and had to drive
back to Calgary to get them.
Puked my guts out at the Can-Ho on Thursday. Didn't sleep for 2 days (same
as the summer Alberta tour).
Kept passing out on Saturday
Clarked my way out of 2 load-ins.
The future of Cowpuncher is as uncertain as ever.
November 28, 2006
Later today we embark on our trip out to the mountains. It will be very, very cold.
Things to remember:
Guitar (I sometimes drive to
other city's to play guitar and then not bring it with me)
Socks (Damn, I'm doing a load of laundry and I forgot to wash my favorite
socks; the one's I bought for our last trip to Lethbridge. I'll have to
make do with the socks I bought before out Edmonton show last January,
plus some B-list socks)
Camera
Plug in thing for my camera
Plug in thing for my Blackberry
Blowdryer (OK yes, I blowdry my hair. But the hair goop that Niki
sells me for $22 is supposed to work better on dry hair. Do you want me
to waste all that $22 hair goop? Do you? Do you?)
Kitchen Table for Cristie
(We're going to try to bring her new kitchen table down to Lethbridge
for her)
Pansey Pills
Things to be thankful for:
Dinner Theatre
Down Jackets (Thanks mom & dad)
Cable TV in the Banff band house
Spell check friends - Tara,
Chris,
Luke and so on.
Finding my Technotronic
LP - the "Pump Up The Jam" Single. (Did you know they've sold
over 14 million records?)
November 22, 2006
Remember when I was all worried about my students that were stuck in Lebanon this summer and I didn't know if they were dead or alive?
Anyways, yesterday I gave one of them a pat on the back and he screamed,
"DON'T TOUCH ME! NOW MY BACK STINKS LIKE YOUR HAND!"
So, I guess he's OK if he's still the same little f'er he's always been.
He's part of the
gang of kids that shout "WHERE'S MY MONEY" everytime they see
me. I think it started out that I screamed that at them, but it switched
around on me somewhere along the line.
Once I walked by a class in the middle of an Arabic lesson and one of them yelled that at me. They often get in trouble from other teachers for shouting "Mr. OLAH, WHERE'S MY MONEY" at me, but its our inside joke, and they aren't afraid of getting into trouble.
Sometimes I'll pretend to throw some change across a field or something and they'll all run after it like a pack of wild dogs.
I imagine I could get them to fight each other over some money, but that would probably get me into more trouble than its worth.
Lately, every time I work at their school I try to convice their teacher that they were swearing or that they signed up for extra math or something. He's pretty good at playing along.
November 20, 2006
I had a very humbling experience today.
It involved the following:
It involved the following:
It was not my proudest momment.
November 18, 2006
Things I did today (not a complete list):
Sleep until 10:23
Tare out of bed to make it downtown for an 11:00 haircut appointment
Stop for coffee at a coffee shop that was closed
Race across the street to Safeway to buy coffee at Starbucks
Wait and pace in line
Continute my race downtown.
Spill one of the coffees on the floor of my car.
11:53 Niki calls to see if I'm still coming to my haircut.
Most of downtown closed for some kind of a parade.
Spill coffee again.
Haircut.
Go to tattoo shop to look at my drawing.
Have to pee.
Drawing looks pretty cool, but they want to switch artists on me
Have to wait 1/2 hr to discuss keeping my original artist.
A mom brings in her 15 year old daughter & her two friends to get
a her daughter a piercing.
Watch first part of Finding Nemo in the tattoo lobby.
Get into a slight argument with Parlor owner about who is doing my tattoo.
Go home.
Pee.
Play music with Shawn.
Take a 2 hour nap.
Play music with Shawn & Dave.
November 13, 2006
Nice, I can't spell Groove right:
This is embarrassing.
Man, I've already sent this out to the venue.
So now I have to get my friend with a better computer than mine, to fix
the typo, re-upload it, so that I can download it and then upload it to
another site for the venue to download again. I really wish I could spe ll.
The funny part is that I was
an English major in University.
November 12, 2006
I'm not mad.
Actually, I sorry for you.
November 7, 2006
I'm back in Calgary & a school took pity on my and is letting me teach even though my certificate isn't in my hands yet. Although it has been renewed. Glory Be!
So I was paid to play guitar for about an hour this morning while these Grade 9 kids pretended to do their school work. I pretend to teach, they pretend to learn - everyone wins.
They challenged
me to a "rap off."
I declined.
They said that I could rap country.
Again I declined.
So big news! Someone tried to save me. For the last week I was in eTown I worked on a fencing crew with a chain smoking, doobie toking, tall tale telling Newfie and a 22 year old American Mormon, who just got back from his Mission. We were a strange crew.
The Mormon tried
to save me and even gave me the Book of Mormon as a parting gift. He was
staying at his Grandma's house and one day he came to work with a water
bottle from a funeral home. His Grandma had cleaned it out and filled
it orange juice for him. I tried to steal it from him, but he was onto
me. Who takes bottled water home from a funeral?
Legend had it that the Newfie worked as a framer prior to the fencing
crew, but he got fired because he beat someone up "really bad."
Brief list of outrageous tales the Newfie told over the course of the
week we worked together:
His buddy rolled his car 7 times and walked away without a scratch, while the Newfie was in the hospital for 2 months.
His girlfriend was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street and was in a coma for a week and spent 7 months in the hospital. But the only thing wrong with her now is that she has a weird lump on her collar bone. The insurance company offered her only $2000.
He spends hours every night flossing his teeth with one of those floss picks. He just sits in front of the TV working away at his teeth.
He has a buddy who lives in BC who gives him an ounce of weed for free every month because when the Newfie was growing he used to give this guy a pound of weed each month, so the BC guy has to return the favor.
The Newfie smokes like 5 huge joints everyday - easy (ok that one was pretty believable).
He knows a guy who has a Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher.
His girlfriend is 4' 10".
His brothers are all 6'4" and 250 pounds. They work in the woods. You get strong when you work in the woods.
Using a nail gun, he once shot a 3" nail straight through his index finger by accident. When I asked if he cried, he said no.
When he was 15, he sold a car to this guy who partially paid him with tattoo time. The tattooist has a spider web tattooed on his face. Spider face is coming out to Alberta soon to do the Newfie's dragon.
Kids keep coming up to me with their finished tests. They stand in front of me and hold their test out for me to take. I look at them and point to the pile of finished tests in front of me. They place their test on the pile and walk away - I keep typing.
Someone just asked me a question about Amino Acids. I told him that I don't even know what an Amino Acid is.
Update: 15:46
I just spent the last hour or so working on a poster idea for our upcoming tour. Any thoughts?
